I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
