When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
