the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
