Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
