I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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