my mouth tastes like poor choices
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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