i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
