I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
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we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
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He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude