Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf