you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.