Your mouth is God's brothel.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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