Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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