He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
