You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
