Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
