I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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