Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
