Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
