addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
