Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
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