almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
should my penis look like a turkey
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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