he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
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I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
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When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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