butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
only if we run a train.
done.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
