that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
