So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
