TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
