ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
