Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's official drugs can't kill me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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