Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
