I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
