Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize