Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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