I want to walk on stilts...naked
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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