Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He felt like a one man threesome
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize