hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
North Korea, Best Korea!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
