I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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