no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
