Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
