Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
