This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
