I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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