shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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