well I can't set my house on fire every night
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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