If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
