Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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