Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
