well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
