I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
