I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize