I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
