what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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