my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
pray to the hookup gods
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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