Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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