I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
