I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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