Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
