I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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