shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
