A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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