i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
