R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
