Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wat bout pragnant strippers??
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
