great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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