ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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